Saturday, March 26, 2011

Judah is sick again. Having sick kids all the time can be quite frustrating, but I need to count my blessings. Taylor has not been very sick, and Judah did have a stretch of several months when he was not sick, and I enjoyed that time.

Sickness in your children is hard to deal with, not so much because of the extra cleaning and washing and wiping that goes along with it, but mostly because it's hard to see your children suffer in that way. What would I do for my kids to not be sick? Almost anything. I want so much to save them from that, and to protect them from feelings that they can understand. I mean, you can't explain to a 2 year old why their body is heaving, or why they are nauseous. I am always afraid that they won't be able to deal with it because they don't understand what's going on, but somehow they handle sickness better than most adults. :) I guess this is part of the way they learn to trust their parents. I can't protect them from this, and I don't think it would be good if I could.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

I have sat down to blog several times in the last week, but I could never get enough thoughts together to put down in writing- or typing.

So I'll just try to catch up on the kids, as I usually do.

I am finally starting to see some intelligence in Taylor. She was never stupid, but Judah was able to communicate with us from a very young age, and Taylor has shown zero interest in communicated "properly." Her communication skills consisted of screaming. But suddenly, one day in the last 2 weeks, she began reaching for me when she wanted to be picked up. She wants to be picked up all the time, but the point is still valid, and she can now properly communicate that to me.

Ricky and I have reestablished our ritual of reading to the kids before bedtime. This is something we did with Judah since he was an infant, but Taylor didn't experience that until she was 4 months old, and it only happened maybe once a month for her. I have had guilt, yes, but we are now in the process of remedying that problem. When we sit with her, she'll touch the pictures and make cooing sounds. She enjoys family time a lot, especially with Judah (even though he doesn't always appreciate her.) She has 3 new teeth, and can feed herself finger foods. All these things happened in a short amount of time, and I am glad, because it makes her seem more like my child.

Judah has officially entered the "WHY?" phase of toddlerhood.
"Judah, eat your sandwich."
"Why?"
"Because if you don't eat it now, you'll be hungry later."
"Why?"
"Because our bodies need food."
"Why?"
"Because we burn calories all day long in order to sustain a stable body temperature and our cells are growing and changing every day and that takes energy, and we get energy from food, especially young children like you are growing A LOT all the time and so we need to make sure you keep growing."
[ long pause] "-Why?"

I can sometimes stop the cycle the longer and more confusing my response is. Judah is definitely testing his boundaries again. He goes in spurts of disobedience, which is normal for kids. He'll be a total gem, and then we'll have lengths of time where he gets several spankings a day, but it never lasts too long.

He talks so well, and asks to see friends and relatives quite often. He is very social and doesn't like being in the house all the time. He's a lot like me in that way.

Monday, March 7, 2011

God VS Kim Jong Il

Ricky and I watched an incredibly depressing documentary on North Korea.

To be honest, I don't know anything about North Korea. It's not talked about much in the news besides North and South Korea being mad at each other. Kim Jong Il is a dictator and yada yada yada, but I never really truly knew anything about the country.

As it turns out, these people are under horrible oppression and have been ruthlessly, and fearfully, brainwashed. As usually happens whenever I am enlightened about things happening in the world, I began to feel incredibly guilty about my ignorance. They existence of labor camps in North Korea, where hundreds of thousands of people are sent to be worked to death, are reminiscent of the holocaust. In many cases, they are not even told what they did wrong. If a family member defects, then the extended family may be thrown in prison. Millions of the citizens are malnourished and dying, and yet through all this, they openly worship Kim Jong Il as God.

It was insightful to me. On my first reaction, I was completely sickened. I was disgusted that so many people worship him as God, and that Kim takes that glory for himself, and even perpetuates that belief constantly. I also assumed that they were praising him for fear of imprisonment or death. However, the more I watched, I saw that most were completely genuine. They truly loved their leader, and they truly would die for him and they believed that he was responsible for everything good in their lives. The more I watched, the more I felt like I was looking at a reflection of myself.

God. We love Him. We praise Him and we hold Him responsible for everything good in our lives. We look forward to the day when He'll return and bring peace on the Earth with His kingdom, and we will praise Him for all eternity. We believe that without Him, we are destined to burn in hellfire. We would die for Him. We love Him in good times and bad, even with all the suffering around us, we praise Him. We wish He'd reach down His pinky finger and feed the world, and when He doesn't we love Him anyway.

Now I was sickened because the Savior and God I served looked a heck of a lot like Kim Jong Il. How could Christians be following a God like this? I thought, could we be brainwashed in the same way?

But it didn't take much time thinking about it before realizing how silly it was of me to compare them. There is so much suffering in the world because people have not chosen God. People have created the evil in the world, not God. Also, the North Koreans who genuinely love their leader are only doing what they were created to do in the first place - worshipping. We were all created to worship, walk with, and love the Living God. The Bible says we were created by Him, and for Him. Anyone in this world who does not know Him, must worship something! They worship their jobs, and money, and other things that will always leave them empty. The worship coming from the North Koreans is simply misdirected, but in a much clearer way than in America. I saw the people bowing down, crying out to their "Dear Leader" saying "thank you" and "I will serve you always!" but God should have received that praise. They gave it to Kim Jong Il, just like we give it to money and materialism, and work, and food, and freakishly stupid celebrities!

In America, we worship other things; things that are more hidden, but we are under the same oppression. Our only hope is in God - to forgive us. While I sit in my cozy house, I still feel sad for the North Koreans who are dying in labor camps. I wish that I was not so apathetic. Humans have such potential for goodness, and I just wish that we knew how to use it.

Friday, March 4, 2011

Ah, life. It can be so up and down. I hate feeling like a roller coaster, because it makes me feel so girly.

Things are doing pretty well at the house. Taylor has been in an exceptionally good mood the last few days. When she's happy, the house tends to be happy. Despite the fact that she still has a tooth ready to push through any day, she's been talking and singing and dancing and napping. All around, she's become much easier to handle, and I have been able to get a lot more done around the house. Laundry is suddenly easier, and I've been able to keep the kitchen clean for the last week!

Judah is always making Ricky and I smile with his sentences and 2 year old logic. His new found love is "exercising" and he has done my yoga workout DVD more times than I have. (I'm ashamed of that.) He's starting to joke with us. The other day he told me, "You're not my favorite... NO! You ARE my favorite!" It was his first joke! Along with that also comes lying, which he's tried to dabble with a little.

Taylor's hair is still minimal, but finally long enough that I can put a clip in it! She looks completely bald, of course, but I'm just trying to look on the bright side. She can say "mama" and "dada" but there is still no evidence that they are anything more than babbles.

She's been flipping herself over in her crib in the middle of the night and crying for me to rescue her. If she does stay on her back, she usually scoots herself into the corner, which I must also rescue her from. Needless to say, I haven't gotten a full nights sleep for several nights. But alas, that's part of parenting. Every interrupted sleep pushes me closer and closer to sticking with just two. Thinking of a 3rd is absurd right now. But we'll leave that to God.