Unfortunately, the Seattle weather is the same as it was in January. Not kidding. Seriously, look it up if you don't believe me! Today is the first day of summer, and it's lame and cold and sprinkling. I even had to turn up the heat this morning. I can remember many summers like this one having lived here my whole life. I have never gotten used to it.
But that was not the purpose of this post. Yesterday, Ricky and I finally got the whole family to church, and I'm glad that we did. Besides the feeling of "getting back to normal," I felt that God really met me there. Praying at home never stopped, but my prayers mostly consisted of "Lord, give me patience" or "Lord, give me strength" or "Lord, please make her sleep!" But during worship, I got a wake up call.
Worship is the time we try to focus on just Him, and He reminded me that that is why we have anything in life in the first place. Yes, He knows that taking care of a newborn is hard for me, but I do it for Him, and not for myself. He asked me, "If I didn't let you have a full night's sleep for the rest of your life, would you still live for Me?" The answer was obvious, so when I know that this trial right now is so temporary, why is it so hard for me to have a better attitude?
I still ask for the joy of the Lord in the monotony. Breastfeeding still sucks, and changing 30 diapers a day still sucks, and not sleeping much still sucks, but it's so temporary, and I do this for God. Not for me, not for my husband, not for anyone else, and so because of that, I should be joyful.
I am trying. :)