Friday, April 23, 2010

Full Schedules

I have a busy few weeks coming up, and especially the weekends. Spring and summer always do this. During the winter, I get a serious case of cabin fever. There's not much to do, the weather is cold and uncomfortably wet all the time, and all you can do is go see a movie again, or stay at home again. Somehow, during spring, and mostly summer, you just can't fit it all in!

The weekend starting tomorrow is booked solid, and the weekdays are filling up too. The weekend after that is almost full, and the weekend after that is full. There are several things that we still want to do as well, but unfortunately, I am running out of time that I will be able to do anything. After these few more weeks, I'm sure I will not have the will power to even get out of bed, and a few more weeks after that, I will have the new baby. If you leave me a voicemail during that time, you'll be lucky to hear from me after a 2 weeks.

So I am wishing that I lived in a climate that didn't force us, and all of our friends and family, to pack all of the fun things of the year into 3 or 4 months. I mean, seriously now. And poor Ricky and I, we have to pack it into half of that since we'll be stuck at home for most of the prime time. Ugh. I must say, however, on the bright side, I know that this sacrifice of a few summers will be made up by lots more super fun summers filled with birthday parties and toddlers having the time of their lives. And we get to have the time of our lives with them. We just have to miss most of this summer, and then we'll have every other summer to do tons of fun things that we have to fit into 4 months. This is why we pray earnestly every year, that God will provide a warm, sunny summer, because without good weather, Seattlites then only have 2 months to fit in all the fun things that they have been wanting to do all year.

Tomorrow morning I'll be up bright and early to attend my baby shower. My sister-in-law did all the planning and I didn't have to do a thing! All I have to do is show up. What a relief. I will be going to the church after the shower to attend a memorial service for a dear friend that passed away at the beginning of the week. It's a sad thing, and all I can do is pray. After that, I'll go back home, and then back to church again for another event going on in the evening which I am running the childcare for. It will be a long day. Sunday is church, and then I'll be leaving from the church to go have tea at a tea house with my mother and sister-in-law. That will be nice and relaxing. Luckily, I am booked, but not stressed.

On a completely separate topic, I had a doctor appointment today, and it went well. Nothing concerning or troublesome. There never is. However, it sounds like my doc will be in Iceland during my predicted (as in, Rosemary's predicted, having nothing to do with the doctor's predicted) delivery date. That will suck if even the second baby doesn't get delivered by my regular doctor. I had a bad experience with the doc who delivered Judah. My doc's shift had just ended when I started pushing the last time. Although, when you are there on the table pushing your guts out, you don't really care who's there. But it would be nice to have her there. We'll have to see.

Anyway, I should be going to bed because I need rest and I am tired, but sadly, bed doesn't ever sound nice anymore. The one thing in life that is always there for me now causes me so much pain and agony. The sanctity of the bed is now soiled thanks to relaxin, the hormone that looses my ligaments and pelvic joints. But alas, I must be strong...

or maybe not.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Looking at the calendar is depressing. I feel so huge and so ready to have the baby. I think I may even have done a little "nesting" yesterday. Tomorrow is my 33 week appointment, but I still think the doc is off by at least a week. On the up side, babies born at 34 weeks and beyond rarely have any problems and don't need long hospital stays, even though full term is considered at 37 weeks. My goal is just to make it to the end of April. I'll take it one day at a time after that. But there are so many weeks between now and the official due date (June 11th). There is no way I can make it into June.

See week 33

Friday, April 16, 2010

DISCLAIMER: Rantings of an exhausted, hormonal, pregnant female. Read at your own risk.

I am blogging because I cannot sleep.

I cannot sleep because I hurt, physically and emotionally.

I know that I am probably just being irrational and not thinking clearly, but I need to vent a little, even if it's just to this computer screen.

We all have different ways of coping with stress, and that's not a bad thing. I am generally very understanding about letting people unwind, but most of the time I feel very alone in that trait. My head knows that I am supported, but my heart is telling me that I am just alone and have to complete the rest of these stressful, painful, formidable few months by myself. I am a wife and mother, and unfortunately, there is no break from that. There is no clocking out. There is no driving home. There is no calling in sick. There are no weekends. There is just me, still doing what I have to do regardless of how I am feeling or how well or badly the day went for the people around me. After Judah is in bed, the husband gets to unwind in his secluded office playing a video game, and I get the privilege to unwind by cleaning up after dinner, and doing the dishes. Could I have saved that chore for tomorrow? Yes, but it's harder to do with a toddler pulling at your leg, and sick 7 month old in the living room. Do my feet hurt? Yes. Are my legs cramping? Yes. Would I rather be hanging out with my husband and encouraging him about his crappy situation at work? Yes.

But instead, with nothing else to do, I took a mile walk to the nearest Starbucks, just so I could be out of the house. It was not an enjoyable walk, seeing as I am 7 and a half months pregnant, and I was alone, but at least I was out of the house. I was trying to prove something to myself. It was a long walk, and much to my surprise, no one even knew I had left.

It leaves me feeling like... I don't even know. Just lonely. Unattractive. Unnecessary. Isolated.

I look ahead to the next few months, and they look very bleak. My calendar is full of events and things to do, yet I know there is still something missing. I wish someone understood how I feel.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Pain

So much pain...

Everytime I have to roll over in bed, it is an exceedingly painful process which takes several minutes. It's even harder to try and not wake up Ricky and hold myself back from screaming "Ow! Ouch! It hurts! Help me!!" ... Several times every night. I have had to get more and more creative with how to get out of bed with the least amount of pain, although it is not going very well.

I don't remember it hurting this bad last time.

Thursday, April 1, 2010

BAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Courtesy of GlennBeck.com

In what can only be described as a horrible accident, the Easter Bunny was killed outside of Chicago while hiding eggs...