Thursday, October 15, 2009

Convincing Myself that I am a Good Mother

Convincing myself that I am a good mother is not the easiest thing to do. When the day goes great, and Judah is behaving, and I have dinner ready on time, I feel like a good mother. But not all days are like that. Some days I am stressed, and I am yelling "No no!" at Judah for the 12th time that minute, and the laundry is stacked up. On those days, it can be hard to convince myself that I am doing a good job.

I do the best I can, and I guess that's all I can do. Do you ever have that nagging feeling that you should be doing something more? Maybe it has to do with all the media and pressure that's put on us as moms to do things a certain way. No, I don't feed my kid a vegetarian, or strictly organic diet. Would that be good for him? Yes. But do I put that much effort into it? No. I am told by my parenting magazine that I should brush his teeth twice a day, but so far, since he got his teeth, I have brushed them once.

Sometimes, I know that I am giving in to him because I am tired. For instance, Judah is not allowed to play in the office unless a parent is in there, but sometimes I just let it go. I am inconsistent. I am going to ruin his entire life? The website said I will. He shouldn't suck him thumb or else he will ruin his teeth! He shouldn't wear those shoes! Don't let him climb on that! He shouldn't eat that! He should play outside everyday! You should use flashcards! You should teach him sign language! Don't let him put that in his mouth! He's too skinny!

There are statistics for everything. If you spank them, then you are teaching them that violence is the answer and they are 20% more likely to be involved in domestic violence.* If you don't feed your kids organic food, they are 13% more likely to get cancer.** If you don't eat dinner together at the table, then your kids won't have a good vocabulary.*** Blah Blah Blah! Everything effects your child's future in some way, so how do you know exactly what can be good for them at any given moment?

*I made this up
**I also made this up
***this is kinda true, kinda

I just want to do what is best for him. But how can we keep up with all this information and proper learning milestones? It's impossible. Some things I could do better, but what is worth it, and what is not? All that you can do is the best you can, and teach them what is right and wrong, and trust God to do the rest. Pray for your children often, because the Holy Spirit is the One who can show you how to teach them.

I think I am a good mother.

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