I have been having a hard past few days. I have been slightly sick, I hate being at work when I should be home with my son, and I am just overemotional in general. I don't know how some women deal with being that way all the time. I just had to cry last night, and poor Ricky was on the other side of the bed hoping he didn't do something wrong. I had to explain that it wasn't him, but it just felt good to cry. I just had to let out some pent up emotion about life. The fact that I wasn't feeling well, a bunch of "what-ifs" and not to mention that Judah has been less than cooperative with his attitude.
I don't think it's his fault. He may be teething AGAIN which is never fun. He is constantly fussy. We are also in the experimental phases of finding out whether he may be lactose intolerant and/or be allergic to wheat. I would really prefer if it was NOT the wheat. This has also been a point of tension because a non-lactose and non-wheat diet is very hard to cope with. It's expensive, and it would change what we all eat as a family. I am praying that whatever is causing the problem is reversed or corrected so that neither is the case.
I told my boss that I would be quitting for good as soon as Anne is back at work. That is one good thing happening right now, so I know there is no pressure afterwards. They have 2 months notice, so it's all on them now, and so I can leave without any bad tastes or otherwise. It's nice to see the light at the end of the tunnel, and it's can be calming to know that I can be a full time mom and have the weekends with my family. Poor Ricky has been a great sport watching Judah every Saturday for the last year. It will be nice to have Saturday back.
In the meantime, I am nervously awaiting news about something that might change a lot of things in our life (no, I am not pregnant...) and waiting is the least fun game in the world. I am trying not to let it get to me, and letting God worry about it. It's just adding one more brick to my pile. But I know things will look up soon; they always do.