Saturday, February 7, 2009

Can't live with 'em. Can't live without 'em

I had a very insightful conversation with a customer at work today. It really got me thinking about how hard it can be to deal with women. Despite the last blog entry, I wanted to stick it out there for the guys and chastise all those high maintenance women.

Now, in my defense, I work very hard to not fit into that "woman" mold. I try to acknowledge when I am being irrational or emotional, and I give my hubby the benefit of a doubt several times a day, rather than confronting him about every questionable facial expression. I accept honesty as love, and not an attack. I'm sure it has helped keep a lot of strain out of our marriage, especially now that we have a kid. However, I know the poor guy does the same for my woman-ness.

Some things are superficial, like ignoring the blow dryer in the morning, or never complaining about my long hair always clogging the drain, but some things are deeper, and the poor hubby/male can really take an internal beating to maintain his composer when dealing with a hormonally charged woman.

My husband has proven the true test of patience when it comes to the "waiting for the woman" ritual. Somehow, I can always manage to get to work on time, but that's because I don't have to try hard to look nice when I am going to work. For every other outing, Ricky has to schedule 10 minutes of leeway... because I will use it. I usually try harder to look nice on a Sunday morning before church. I suddenly decide that I need to reshape my eyebrows, or curl my hair, or change into nicer clothes. No matter what, I cannot seem to get out of the door on time. I try to, I really do, and I fail, and the husband is always stuck trying to not get angry about it. Poor guy.

What about a pregnant female? *gets on soapbox* I firmly believe that a female should never be allowed to be a *&%$* or demand whatever she wants just because she's on her period or pregnant (aka hormonally charged). You still need to treat people with respect and dignity regardless of how you happen to be feeling that day. *gets off soapbox* But fast forward to when the baby bump becomes a mountain. A girl can't help but cry about nothing and everything at the same time. She wants to not be pregnant, and she's not getting good sleep, and she's in a constant state of being uncomfortable, and she's about to be a mom for the rest of her life. Now the poor husband, he's at work all day trying to support his family, and his boss is a total moron, and he's working extra hours using super intense mental power, and yet he comes home and is expected to take care of his pregnant wife and paint the baby room. When he's not up to par, he is accused of not being understanding, or worse. Poor guy.

We hear all the time "It's not what you say, it's how you say it." Somehow, for the husband, there's no winning some battles. This is one thing that I really try not to do, but I do fail from time to time, as Ricky will vouch for. I can ask him about my outfit, but if I have already decided that I don't like it, I may as well not have asked him. He will, of course, tell you that you look splendid, but you don't believe him. Therefore, he must be either lying to you, or has terrible taste and is completely useless. There's no winning for him. Poor guy. Or what about the classic, give-him-a-choice-and-then-don't-listen trap. You give him a choice like, "Should I wear heels or flats?" or "Do you want tacos or stir-fry for dinner?" but you have already made the decision. You want him to make the same decision you have by expecting him to read your mind. Unfortunately, he can't read your mind, so the conversation ends with, "But these pants are too long to wear flats," or "But stir fry is so much faster," and you are frustrated that he just doesn't understand you. There's no way for him to win. Poor guy.

These are just a few examples of woman-ness in it's never ending battle with testosterone. A man's mind is so much simpler. Girls, be glad that your intellect is just too large for a guy to wrap his mind around, and guys, I'm just sorry.

Yet somehow they love their woman and always support them, which also leads to the conclusion that their intelligence is lacking, because I wouldn't deal with that crap.

Poor guy.


Ricky said...

I really like how this post goes from praising patient and understanding men, to slowly devolving into a "Men can't understand the complexity of a woman. They are like dogs- still loyal, even when they don't understand. Poor little critters."

It's alright though- I understand there is a complexity there, and I wasn't made to understand it. My purpose is to give you a good life and lead this family in the way it should go, which is probably easier than understanding a woman's brain. :)

Rosemary Ochs said...

Well, those last few comments were actually meant sarcastically. It was more of my appeal to the fact that women always blame men for their hardships, when it mostly comes from within themselves.

But if you would prefer to think of yourself like a dog, then I can work with that.

Kat said...

I never could abide women who ask their guys "do I look fat in this dres/pants?" and then fall apart when he answers. I vowed when I was in high school to NEVER ask my man that question. I figured I'd save us both a lot of trouble.