Friday, October 10, 2008

Isn't it funny how life is never about you? I mean, you can make it about you, and many people do, but for the most part, we live our lives for someone else, or something else.

Of course, I can think of many times when I lived life for myself, but it was hard for it to stay that way. The only time I can remember that I was completely egocentric was before I went to high school. As I recall, that's also when life got a lot harder and more complicated. The only one I cared about was numero uno.

Now I have a baby and everything I do, everywhere I go, everything I eat, and how I plan my day all revolves around him. The worst part is that he has absolutely no idea how far I go out of my way for him. Before it was him, it was my husband, but at least he has something to give back. I do stuff for him, and he does stuff for me, but with a baby, it's a completely different arena. He is the most selfish boy that I have yet encountered, but he doesn't know that. Somehow I love him more than life, and all the hard work and sweat that I have put into him melts away when he smiles. It must be God's way of showing us how we are most of the time. Having a baby is one of the most selfless things that you can do in your lifetime, but God has done that for humanity since the beginning, and we have very little to give back to him except for a smile.

I mean, when you think about it, we are the selfish ones, and we don't think about much else besides our own little world. When Judah is hungry, his world turns upside down, and that's all he knows for that moment in time. If only he could see that we will be home in 2 minutes and he can eat then. One day, Judah will learn to trust me, and know that I will feed him. We act the same way with God, even though God is saying "Relax, we'll be home in 2 minutes."

This leads me to the conclusion that God is the most selfless being in existence. The Bible says that he is selfish, but He is selfish for our love and our smiles. This makes me strive more to know Him and trust Him, so that when the time comes, I can be His bride, and give back to Him the way I do to my husband.

We all have to grow up sometime.

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