Sunday, October 12, 2008

I started work on Saturday. It went very well.

In many ways, it's like I never left, but somehow I still felt like the new girl. I guess that's just from getting used to staying at home. We had a lot of new material that I am unfamiliar with, which left me asking questions as if I were the new girl, but for the most part, everything else was the same. I can break samples again, which was nice. It has been quite some time since I swang that hammer. Muahahaha! It felt good.

So I guess this means that life is settling down and we're returning to normalcy. I may go back to work full time someday, but I'll play it by ear. I plan to take it one day at a time and make sure that my priorities are in line. Decisions will be made based on what opportunities God gives us. For the mean time, Ricky is doing well at work with a boss who likes him and he has provided for this family amazingly. God has given us everything that we need despite the failing economy.

Life is gooder.

Friday, October 10, 2008

Isn't it funny how life is never about you? I mean, you can make it about you, and many people do, but for the most part, we live our lives for someone else, or something else.

Of course, I can think of many times when I lived life for myself, but it was hard for it to stay that way. The only time I can remember that I was completely egocentric was before I went to high school. As I recall, that's also when life got a lot harder and more complicated. The only one I cared about was numero uno.

Now I have a baby and everything I do, everywhere I go, everything I eat, and how I plan my day all revolves around him. The worst part is that he has absolutely no idea how far I go out of my way for him. Before it was him, it was my husband, but at least he has something to give back. I do stuff for him, and he does stuff for me, but with a baby, it's a completely different arena. He is the most selfish boy that I have yet encountered, but he doesn't know that. Somehow I love him more than life, and all the hard work and sweat that I have put into him melts away when he smiles. It must be God's way of showing us how we are most of the time. Having a baby is one of the most selfless things that you can do in your lifetime, but God has done that for humanity since the beginning, and we have very little to give back to him except for a smile.

I mean, when you think about it, we are the selfish ones, and we don't think about much else besides our own little world. When Judah is hungry, his world turns upside down, and that's all he knows for that moment in time. If only he could see that we will be home in 2 minutes and he can eat then. One day, Judah will learn to trust me, and know that I will feed him. We act the same way with God, even though God is saying "Relax, we'll be home in 2 minutes."

This leads me to the conclusion that God is the most selfless being in existence. The Bible says that he is selfish, but He is selfish for our love and our smiles. This makes me strive more to know Him and trust Him, so that when the time comes, I can be His bride, and give back to Him the way I do to my husband.

We all have to grow up sometime.

Monday, October 6, 2008

Hi Ho Hi Ho...

Well, I may be going back to work sooner than later. Only part time, and for now it would only be Saturdays, but it's a start. None of it is official yet, but it is a very large possibility. I am kind of excited about it. I mean, it's been awhile since I have felt "normal" (if I even know what that is) and it will also be relieving to make a little extra money. My husband has done an AMAZING job of providing for his family, but we have both felt very restricted since I quit my job. All the money I made was extra, so we could do whatever we wanted, or save for whatever we wanted. Now that we have that much less cash, we have that much less leeway. We haven't even been out to eat for some time.

Not that it's a bad thing to practice a little self control, but Christmas is coming up, and Ricky and I are both very generous during Christmas. We also have a baby that will be eating solid food soon, and we want to save for a house. Now that we have our first kid, the clock is ticking, and we'll run out of time to move into a new house before we have our second.

Going back to work will be fun too. The only social interaction I get is at church. Surprisingly, I have not been going crazy without a lot of interaction. I thought it might be a month before I was going out of my mind, but being a mom must have changed something about that. I am home by myself all day, and it hasn't bothered me at all.

I hope that this will make things a little easier for us.