It's better than living with the guilt that I pushed her away, or wondering what would have happened if I never got married, or that I never should have gone to Costa Rica, or what if I actually got up the nerve to kick her out of the wedding party. At least there would have been more closure. If I had done that then I wouldn't have to deal with her just deciding not to return my calls, or blatantly lying to my face. "Yes I broke up with him" Not. "I quit smoking" Not. I still love God" Not.
What made you think that I didn't want to still be your friend? I might not be able to trust you, but I still love you. I think about you every day. And now I know that you hated me this whole time. You hate everything that I stand for. So I'll stay out of your life if you stay out of mine.
Lord, change my heart.